He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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