what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
