I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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