It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
