Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
