i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
