Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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