I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
