is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
