Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
