I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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