I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
