Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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