we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
