so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
