White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
