Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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