Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
