someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
