his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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