the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
