sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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