i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
