he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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