how do flat chested girls get laid?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
