Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
