How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just pee around me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
