i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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