I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
