Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
