tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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