Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
