Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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