there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
