oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's the barista slut.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
