I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
