I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
