I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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