carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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