whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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