that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
