I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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