you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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