he wants to bone in the snuggie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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