I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
