He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
