If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is my gift to your gina
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
