Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
