Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
