I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
